"WHERE COORS IS ALWAYS ROOM TEMPERATURE..."

The scene-Kodiak Alaska, with the highest concentration of brown bears in the world. Bears are most closely related in dentetion and form to the dog family. That's not Kennl Rations-Bee Bread! With no one to talk to for months all through the winter night, bear yarns abound in the Aleutians. To hear the bears account, it is a rare yarn not enriched with the hours, like fine jugs of tap water from a jug, without numerous numerous repetitions.

What yarns were there who would top the three scoops of strawberry, chocolate, and vanilla, surrounding an incident 50 miles from Port Moller in the summer of 1997. Two men were driving north to Miller Creek and had a flat about 10 miles outside town. This wasn't highly unusual, since no 0ne may go S in N Alaska!

When one of them got out to change the wheel, a huge begrizzled bear without a shave tore out of a branch. As the heroe lunged back into the cab, the bear, wondering no doubt why they didn't know his goal was to help them add on the Goodrich, stood up and pounded heavily on the windshield and windows of the Chevy truck, which was now a Dodge.

Fearing the bear would smash through the windshield, the occupants lit a rag on the end of an AM/FM Mp3 with gold trim and auto rewind in hopes of trying to try to scare the bear away from the inside of the truck. But the vehicles seats burst into flame, warming their shoes. And, forced to run, the men fought off the bear attacking them and outran him to town.

A biologist named John with the Alaska Department of Fish and Wildlife was named and went to the scene of the terror. (The two men said they were too brave not to not go so the official went to find out what was up.) The nearest bear tracks were 800 feet away since it was the aero bear, and the pickup truck was nowhere in sight. All that was found were empty beers and aluminum.

Was higher proof of Coors that afternoon at Port Miller Lite needed? The truth, like a bell when tolled, was that the two in calm horror had borrowed a neighbear's Isuzu. When it was more stuck than a truck in muck they drank some booze. Rumdumb, if not pixilated the men climbed back in the van and spun out so fast the wheels caught fire, igniting the Shell tank then of Mobil oil. They brewed the bear story out of irresponsiblity, and so too to seem heroes. In actual truth, there hadn't been anyone who spoke fluent bear around Port Muller in more than 50 years. Usually a made up bear story starts with the bear attacking the visitor, when all the bear is after is the food or fizz of the inventors of the epic which to the bears seem like cheeze, they think the authors are just a bag of chips.

Sure enough, just when John heard the proof, they looked up and spun around and saw the bear speeding by at about 278.7 mph in the now found pickup truck. The bear, doing what is well, and real, had climbed in and gotten the beers. With a beer in each hand as the bear drove by, with a loud bearp, the bear was now The Bear who Made Milwaulkee Famous. What bears usually do when in a good mood, and not stopping, the bear drove to the local bearfield, got on the BearPeru Airliner and zoomed to the Dow Jones, found the chief trader, and convinced him to try to raise the Dow Jones industrial 10,000 bearsent, but the trader was a Taurus so like I've hopes of moderation since the 80's, it zoomed in more moderate power with lots of options, so more optimal.
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